butts butts butts butts
i’m the sexiest bitch around
mom, what are you doing on my tumblr?
and people think i’m kidding when i say people down here have an extremely skewed definition of ‘cold’
if you put anyone from the northeast in weather above 70 F, they will sweat profusely and pant and just topple over after five minutes
I feel like such an ass sometimes when I laugh at people for saying they have their fireplaces on and heavy coats n weather like that. Like, yeah, okay, suck it up, you don’t know cold. But then, I’ve never lived anywhere where it’s particularly “warm”. Where I used to live in Eastbourne, it’s 37 F, and it’s the same here in Pennsylvania. And at the same time, I wonder how the hell people can stand it when it’s constantly in the 90s-100s. Anything above 85 is practically unbearable for me.
(I’m sure there are Canadians and Russians laughing at me for thinking that the weather right now is chilly.)
no trust me, i’m exactly the same. i lived in NJ for 10 years, then when i moved down here i was sweating nonstop, it’s always so miserably humid, then you see people at 80 degrees in fur-lined boots and corduroy pants and leather jackets and you’re just like…what. excuse me. no. you don’t know cold. the coldest it’s ever gotten here that i can remember was when it ONCE hit 32, at like 2 am, for like 45 minutes. because the weather people can predict how long it’s gonna be a certain temp for. otherwise you won’t get 40’s till January, and only if you leave the house before 10 am. by 1 it’s already back in the 70’s.
then i have to deliver a christmas present to my neighbors and they have the heat on what feels like 90 and i have to change my dress shirt before family arrives because i have pit stains halfway down to my elbows.
AND WHEN THE A/C BREAKS ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND THERE’S A HEAT WAVE?!!! yeah there’s no such thing as the classic, expected holiday season here. lucky if we have a Wet Christmas ‘cause it sure as hell won’t be White.
but i think when your cold tolerance stops that far before the melting/freezing point on the thermometer, i think it’s safe to say you haven’t experienced cold. and that’s just cold, not bone-chilling. i know after 8 years here that my cold tolerance isn’t what it used to be, but jeebus even my bro can tell you all the times he walked into Panera for breakfast and wifi, the looks people gave him in his shirt and shorts while they had their scarves and hats and jackets and boots on indoors.
Meanwhile up in Jingletown it hits 10-20 at night and 40 by day and the other day it was 55 and slightly damp and I was out in a tank top and dress shirt like “FUCK IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL OUT!!”
Yeah, and meanwhile I’m over here in Georgia where it was 80 and sunny on Dec. 1 and didn’t get above 35 yesterday I THINK I LOST A FUCKING TOE
Not trying to brag or anything…but I went to the end of my driveway to bring the garbage can in and I only got a little frostbite.
If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point.
You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the elements, different phases of life. And here you are.
You go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.
Kyary pamyu pamyu with her friend in high school
and at some point they all ride motorcycles
YOU ARE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW IF YOU’RE TELLING ME THIS IS A REAL CHARACTER
ARE THERE EGYPTIAN MYSTERIES TO BE SOLVED
this is perfect